I've noticed that I always seem to write about love, love, and love. Isn't that what Disney movies taught us life is about? I'm only joking, but last night my friends and I went out to celebrate one of them becoming an attorney. After leaving the bar with our designated driver (of course!), I started singing along to Disney songs with my friend Ariel. Her name is Arial because on a recent trip to Disneyland, she wore a little mermaid themed outfit. Disney songs just have a way of making you happy. They can't help it with their wholesome-goodness. But, what is it about Disney that makes us feel this way?
Where is the love?
Love comes from different places. Love can come from your parents, your little brother, your favorite cousin, or your closest friends. And sometimes, love truly is what can change your life. But, where does all this love stem from?
Love Can Make a Difference
The other day, I was scrambling through my purse to find a $20 to pay for gas. It reminded me of when I was a broke law student. Mind you I had a $100 bill in my wallet, but didn't want to break it. It made me go back to a time when I was a hopeless mess.
Only a few years ago, things were different. When I was in college, I made the choice not to rely on my parents because they had already done so much for me. I felt wrong taking from the people that basically gave me everything I wanted as a child. In college, I had three jobs, and was supporting two people at $10 an hour. I saved and saved. After my account was wiped out, and my hard earned money stolen from a certain terrible person... I remember crying as I ran on the treadmill at 3am thinking I would never get out of the rut. The bills were piling up from the stolen credit card, I wasn't sure what to do with my life. I started to fall back into a place I never thought I'd be again, and hadn't been in since I was 16 years old.
I was broke, and didn't think I would ever make it through life. I felt dejected, rejected and completely hopeless. I was struggling with law school; things were just not going my way.
I remember my mom waking up, and finding me. I cried and cried to her, telling her I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I didn't think I would make it as a lawyer, and I couldn't even pay a $120 bill that came in the mail because I was so broke. She forced me to take $500 from her and told me not to worry... "One day you'll be making so much money, you're going to laugh at this day." She told me my dad and she would always be there to catch me when I fall. The next day, my dad handed me $1,000 and told me he was going to help me with my career. Now, that's a distant thought... But I felt a moment of gratitude towards my parents. Though my parent's actions were small, they were monumental in my life.
True love is the love that lasts. Sometimes, all it takes is a hug or a smile from the ones we love to change your life around. The love my parent's have for me taught me that you should be grateful for the people that love you. You should also protect, and help the people you love.
Team Palo
Recently, I've been hanging out with a group of amazing friends. We are all young professionals that spend our days working, and our nights together eating dinner or watching movies. The older you get, the more you realize who your true friends are, and who is there to climb the social totem pole.
The group I hang out with came together in a strange force of fate. Most of us are part of a Bar Association, but we all have known each other through different ways. Though, I will say that you guys need to stop with your annoying group texts!! (Just Kidding.)
Our first formal group outing was at a Softball Tournament, three of us had the idea of forming a team. We called everyone we knew, who called everyone they knew, and Team Palo was formed. Our team captain, Arial, was a tough cookie. She put us into shape, and encouraged us. Unfortunately, I think we frustrated her because the majority of the time we were staying "hydrated" (with alcohol.) Needless to say, due to our intoxicated state many of us were tumbling over our feet, and staring off into space. Team Palo lost the tournament, but out of every team that day we had the most fun because we didn't take ourselves so seriously. We were there for the purpose: to bond and have fun. While other teams were set on beating others, we formed a family.
Letting Go
I've had the misfortune of recently discovering one of my "friends" is the type of person that only has friendships that will benefit them and make them look like a good person. We had had problems in the past, but I was always quick to forgive this person for their malicious behavior. I just can't believe that people would purposefully do things to be manipulative and hurtful. I am wrong, and it's a reality I'm still struggling to face. This particular person in the past would purposefully push me out of conversations, turn their back to me in groups of friends to exclude me, make comments to me about wanting to steal my friends, and always talk down to me. As I became a stronger person, and a more confident person, I thought that perhaps they didn't know any better. Unfortunately, recently this person began with the same manipulative actions, and I realized that some people aren't worth loving or having in your life. Because ultimately, the ones we love wouldn't purposefully hurt us or keep trying to make you feel down.
While there are moments in your life you should try to rekindle relationships and make the best of situations, there are other times when enough is enough. As the great quote goes, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I don't want to know what comes after a third time. Which is why when it comes to the ones we love, we need to learn to let go when they aren't good for us. And we need to move forward in life. Thanks to Team Palo, I've been able to overcome struggles, and the disappointment of losing people I thought were my friends. I've found true friends. I would have never imagined I would find Team Palo. We see each other on weekends, we help each other with our professional endeavors and more importantly, we love each other like family.
Love Comes From You
I think it's important we all take time to reach out to the ones we love. One word, one moment can make a difference. Every moment, every action we take can make the difference. A mother's love, a father's love, a friend's love, a significant other's love can define us. But, ultimately, the love that should define us is the love we have for ourselves.
In developing a relationship with my friends "Team Palo," as we like to call ourselves, I've discovered how to love myself. When I was younger, maybe even a few years ago, I would shy away at going to a movie theater by myself. I would feel uncomfortable if I was alone. I was constantly seeking the approval of others. Now, I like my alone time because I get to play video games. I've learned that the only approval I need, is my own. Besides, it's not like I listen to other people's advise anyway (just kidding, Jessie).
When you learn to love yourself, the world becomes a better place. Like when Elsa discovered love (for herself and her sister), in my favorite new Disney movie Frozen, she learned to let it go, and be her own person. My ultimate message is that in order to love others, we need to learn to love ourselves. Why? Because love comes from you.
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